One point that the piece makes that I agree with is that lots of daters out there — men and women both — are unclear about the difference between a date and a non-date. Unless it’s a polyamorous type of situation, or you agreed upon it in advance, there should only be two people on the date. Just you and him or you and her being alone together doing something at an agreed upon time. What You Can Expect Of A Date: Well, not much really, I’m sad to say. But I think it’s safe to expect that when going on a date both of you are there to see whether or not a romantic connection exists between you. when he texted her and said: “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever? I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”25-year-old Lindsay recalled a “non-date” where after an evening when she exchanged flirtatious glances with a bouncer at a Williamsburg nightclub, the bouncer invited her and her friends back to his apartment for whiskey and boxed macaroni and cheese.29-year-old Cheryl Yeoh “said that she has been on many formal dates of late — plays, fancy restaurants. For her, the old traditions are alive simply because she refuses to put up with anything less.
Then again, maybe they didn’t actually lose sight of it because they never knew in the first place.I liked him, and despite this moment on the phone, I knew he was a good guy. While girls and guys can be epidemically guilty of fantasy dating, it was not the case that night. However, living without intention does not make you innocent of hurting others.Receiving his texts to another woman moments after our date had ended made me feel like a girl dressed up for prom, only to look out the window to see her date pin a corsage on the girl next-door. It was fair for me to assume that it was a date because, that is what it was. After years of dating, I’ve learned that as hard as it is, clarity in communication seems to be the best way to take care of yourself in a world full of vague dates. Gen-X’ers, Gen Y-ers, Gen-Whatever’ers who are having a hard enough time navigating massive student loan debts, high rents, and a difficult job market. Maybe hoping to bump into another one every once in awhile and ask how to get to port, but everybody’s navigation seems to be broken.To add the icing on the cake, they are floundering through the dating world slash hookup culture and quickly discovering that nobody knows what the hell is going on. I think a big part of this is the fact that people [particularly younger men and women] have completely lost sight of what ‘dating’ actually means. But if you are invited over to someone’s place to hang out and don’t leave or do anything, that’s a non-date. It could turn into a date if both people want it to turn into a date, but it’s not presumed.